Sunday, March 11, 2012
Dear Customers and Employees of my Bank at 9:07am- 9:18am on March 11th,
I’m sorry my four year old saw your maze of cubicles and thought Raceway! and set records whizzing through the “obstacle course” you call your office.
I’m sorry my eighteen month old took the only toy you have on your sorry excuse for a kid’s table and smashed it on the ground now making your kid’s area now just a very small useless table.
I’m sorry my four year old almost jammed a napkin in your coin counting machine that (let’s face it) never works anyway. I’m sorry she also went into an empty office and went on a ride on the spinning chair then careened through her “obstacle course” again while I lost my place in line trying to chase her down. It must have looked pretty pathetic to see me be out run by a toddler and scream bloody murder to make her come back to me. Sorry you had to witness that. I’m sorry for the evil look I gave the nice man who said, “Boy you really have a great mom’s voice.”And for my four year olds gall to stop her tirade and marathon at the front desk (causing me to crash into her) and beg for stickers (and by beg I mean demand), I apologize.
It wasn’t my best parenting day and it wasn’t my kid’s best days either.
For me that was an eternally long eleven minutes at well. But is it too much to ask for some human camaraderie?
To the lady who silently wouldn’t let me have my place back in line. How dare you?
To to woman who clearly doesn’t have children giving me the stink eye. Screw off.
To the man who found this very entertaining and laughed as loud as he could as I lost it completely. Fuck off. I expect an apology from you.
Other than that, I think I’m good. I appreciate the decent interest rate for my car and availability of the Christmas account.
P.S. While I’m at it... Bank Teller approximately eight years ago who laughed at me when I had to put my pennies in rolls so I could change them so I could make my rent on time: You’re a meanie.