Sunday, August 11, 2013

Rage Against the Mama

There is a seriously dark side to 3-year olds. At least in my experience. Dark might be a little dramatic. I immediately pictured 3 year olds killing their dolls in their sleep or worse. That is NOT happening. Anyway, I’m sticking with dark side. Smirker’s got a serious mean streak. I don’t remember this with Love Monster. I mean, knowing my horrible memory it probably was exactly this way and I blogged about it, but this seems different. Smirker is stubborn. Like really fucking stubborn. Like it’s gotten to the point where I give into her WAY too much. She’s bullies me for candy and I’m like the nerd getting shoved into the locker.

I know. Look at her.

Okay Okay I'll give you my lunch money! I know. No not HER right? She looks like the sweetest! 
Let me give you some examples.

We had pizza one night. Easy right. The girls LOVE pizza. But no Smirks wasn’t in the mood. I gave her a slice and she threw a fit because pepperoni wasn’t covering every square inch. She got so pissed we didn’t have a piece that she envisioned she balled up the piece on her plate until it was an unrecognizable ball of goo. Love Monster studied her the entire time (enjoying her pizza like any normal kid) and at one point said. “ I don’t see any tears mama.” Good observation.

Then there was the time she wouldn’t put on pants. You would think I was trying to make her wear a bee hive. Oh my lord. I took her to Trader Joe’s in her undies.

If she’s not into the dinner I’ve prepared, she will scream “COUSY!” (short for cous-cous) until she gets it.

After a bath if I try to cradle her in my arms she will yell “No baby! Hold me big girl!” Oy.

And then there was the time that I wiped a booger off her face and she burst into tears because she wanted it back. Yeah. That happened.

In the morning when she comes in the cuddle with me she MUST be on the left side of me and if Love Monster has beat her to that spot, its’ WW 3 in what was my wonderfully peaceful bed moments ago.

She has a few go to insults: “crybaby” if she’s pissed off and crying. “You’re not invited to my party!” (Doesn’t matter if a party is soon or not.) And “I’ll poop in your socks!” (though thank goodness she doesn’t.)

Then there’s the time she wanted more ketchup on her plate but when I put it on she got mad because SHE wanted to do it. So she scraped the ketchup off her plate onto mine, put more on her plate, ate a couple bites smiled and walked away. Damn.

Love Monster takes this all in stride. She usually looks at Smirker calmly and reminders her of a manta their dad taught them, “Navarros don’t whine.” I love that.

And I think I’ve already facebooked about the time I wouldn’t give her candy for breakfast (What a bitch of a mom am I???) and she ran to her bedroom, slammed the door and started singing the song she learn from a Barbie movie “HERE I AM! I DO WHAT I WANT! I GIVE WHAT I GOT! NEVER A DOUBT NOW!” By the way at that point I don’t think she’d ever said so many words in a row. So I was sort of stoked AND thought it was hilarious. I let her get away with too much, because she is so damn cute and funny. And she freakin’ knows it.

But what the hell chicky? If any adult acted this way, we would wonder why the hell we hung out with this douchebag.

“She’s just like you, you know,” my fiancĂ© said.

BOOM! Deafening silence.

Grrr. He’s right. (Yep that’s in writing babe. You win. Crochet that on a pillow or something.) And I think I actually still sort of act like this sometimes in my less then stellar moments. Who’s the douche now? Yeah I know I’ve just spent about 600 words basically complaining about my almost 4 year old. But her stubbornness is so epic it was worth a blog post. But even with all of this, she also really is the sweetest. She will say thank you and no thank you without need of a reminder. She cuddles super good. And says stuff like, “You know, I like you a lot.” She gives the best kisses. She also is really into the word “Evil” right now. I find that adorable. And when she’s really mad, I’ve figured out a good trick. Make her accidentally smile. Then the real Smirker comes out. But then that usually backfires and she get even more mad that I made her smile. At least she doesn’t practice her crying in front of the mirror like Love Monster used to. Now that I’ve gotten this out I pledge to not let her be the bully that pushes me in the locker. This is a stage and let’s get through this damn thing.

No comments:

Post a Comment