St. Patrick’s day last month started with a graveyard of worms and ended with a Eddie Murphy throwback. Kinda was the best St. Patrick’s day ever.
Oh I’m getting ahead of myself. It actually started with my friend Elizabeth and I getting senior discounts at Souplantation. Maybe that started our spiral... One of my closest friends who I hadn’t seen a long time was in town, she had never met my kids before. This was a huge day. Love Monster is obsessed with Souplantation (“There’s soup and pizza bread AND ice cream from a machine!”) so we decided to go there for lunch. We’re two women in our mid thirties (who I’d like to think don’t even look that old) and the woman at the register says “I gave you the discount.” The 10% senior discount. Umm I will proudly pay that 10 percent if that means I look under 60! I was outraged! I MEAN... Okay I’ll stop there. I wasn’t offended at all. I’ll do anything for a discount.
Anyway it did get me wanting to have some sort of St. Patrick’s Day celebration. I had the kids so I couldn’t go hit the bars and act like an idiot 20 year old (Not that I would ever do that. I am sooooo beyond that.), but I could have a scrumptious dinner out with my friend and the kiddos and maybe drink a margarita or two...
Fast forward through rainy afternoon relaxation to the main event. We walked into town to one of my favorite Mexican joints. The rain had made the walk through the parking lot difficult. It brought out the worms. And this horrified and thrilled my girls at the same time. Sober, this was was annoying. It was keeping me from my enchilada and margarita, but we got through it avoiding each and every rotting worm corpse.
We get to our destination and settle in with our hedonistic delights. Kids are having fun. Seeing my best friend. Good food. Good drink. Sigh...
I kinda forgot one margarita gets me kinda toasted. Happily toasty not fall over toasty, but yeah okay... probably legally drunk. So I was pretty content and it made me remember something. When I am slightly buzzed and the kids are near I relate to them on a whole new level. Hanging with Love Monster is like hanging with my drunk college roommate. Just like it! She even spilled the salsa on my jacket like my old roommate would have and told me I was really pretty while I was taking a pee.
And Smirker... Have I mentioned before Smirker loves the alcohol? Yeah. She does. She tasted a bit of beer when she was very little and instead of cringing, she loved it. Ever since if she sees one it become the holy grail. One time on a plane the lady next to us was drinking a beer and Smirker was doing everything she could to get it. Trying to keep a two year old contained in the eighteen inch cube of a fucking seat was next to impossible. The lady looked at me strangely.
“I have no idea why she’s doing that!” I said while Smirker put her hand on my face for leverage. I mean I can’t say: She loves beer and you are torturing her with your little Amstel Light break (Not to mention me. I could have used it.).
She smiled and said “Maybe she thinks it’s apple juice.” Yeah... no she doesn’t.
So back to St. Paddy’s day in the mexican joint. The margarita is no exception. Smirker is not an alcohol snob. Every chance she gets she’s dipping the lime into my margarita and sucking it dry. I suck down my margarita to keep her from hitting her legal limit which pisses her off to no end, but I appease her with an equally awesome choice: ice cream.
We get our ice cream cones and walk home. Everyone is happy. Love Monster is screaming “HAPPY ST. CHONIES DAY!” to everyone we pass (Look it up if you must) which Elizabeth and I find hysterical.
My buzz is at it’s high when it happens: Both my kids ice creams fall off their cones.
This was my breaking point. I could not stop laughing and for some reason (thank god) the kids thought it was funny too. Especially when Elizabeth starting singing: “You dropped your ice cream, and you ain’t got none. And you got none...” This was all while we wound our way through the maze of the worm graveyard.
This pic is proof it was the best St. Chonies Day ever.I dare you to look at it tell me it wasn’t.
